Um, sorry I hit your house with a biscuit.
Yup, that was the apology I had to issue to my neighbors today. It all began the night before when my DD1 (dear daughter #1) requested biscuits to go with the kielbasa for dinner. Reasonable enough. I don't often totally flub a recipe but if you don't put baking powder in biscuit dough, well, you basically end up with nicely browned hockey pucks. My family politely gnawed on a few of them during dinner. (Put enough jelly or honey on just about anything and you can get it down.) But there really wasn't anything to be done to rescue them so I left them in the basket over night and figured I'd face them the next morning.
Here one is the next morning....(Penny in the shot just to show you how much they didn't rise.)
So that morning, there they sat in all their hardness in the basket on the counter. After considering them for a few moments I thought, in honor of my grandma, I would put them out for the birds rather than tossing them in the garbage. My grandma always kept the birds well fed during the winter with bits of left over rolls and bread. Between our house and our neighbors' house there's a forsythia bush where scores of sparrows roost and I thought that would be the perfect place for the biscuits.
A couple of background facts: First, I have very good aim. I can sink a shot into a wastebasket with sodden diaper from across the room no problem. Second, there is a reason hockey pucks are shaped the way there are. They are extremely aerodynamic.
Because of the first fact above, I thought nothing of throwing the biscuits the distance between our back door and the bush. I took the basket of biscuits to the back door, opened the door, selected a promising looking particularly hard biscuit, wrapped my thumb around one side and my forefinger around the other side like you would to skip a stone and let it fly. This is where the second fact noted above comes into play. Let's just it came as quite a surprise to me when the biscuit did not follow my intended trajectory.
Here is its intended path marked in blue...
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Here is the actual path marked below in yellow.
_of_100_1997.JPG)
The sound of hockey puck hard biscuit striking siding is as unpleasant as you would think. Kind of an hollow thud followed only by my sharp intake of breath. I'm just lucky that it didn't ricochet a foot and a half to the left.... at least I didn't have to explain to the neighbors why there was a circle of broken glass in their dining room with my biscuit at the center.
Here one is the next morning....(Penny in the shot just to show you how much they didn't rise.)
So that morning, there they sat in all their hardness in the basket on the counter. After considering them for a few moments I thought, in honor of my grandma, I would put them out for the birds rather than tossing them in the garbage. My grandma always kept the birds well fed during the winter with bits of left over rolls and bread. Between our house and our neighbors' house there's a forsythia bush where scores of sparrows roost and I thought that would be the perfect place for the biscuits.
A couple of background facts: First, I have very good aim. I can sink a shot into a wastebasket with sodden diaper from across the room no problem. Second, there is a reason hockey pucks are shaped the way there are. They are extremely aerodynamic.
Because of the first fact above, I thought nothing of throwing the biscuits the distance between our back door and the bush. I took the basket of biscuits to the back door, opened the door, selected a promising looking particularly hard biscuit, wrapped my thumb around one side and my forefinger around the other side like you would to skip a stone and let it fly. This is where the second fact noted above comes into play. Let's just it came as quite a surprise to me when the biscuit did not follow my intended trajectory.
Here is its intended path marked in blue...
Here is the actual path marked below in yellow.
The sound of hockey puck hard biscuit striking siding is as unpleasant as you would think. Kind of an hollow thud followed only by my sharp intake of breath. I'm just lucky that it didn't ricochet a foot and a half to the left.... at least I didn't have to explain to the neighbors why there was a circle of broken glass in their dining room with my biscuit at the center.
Yeah, I believe you... but try selling that story to the cops. Heh heh...
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday!
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