2008-08-20T19:11:44Z http://knittymom.com/comments/atom.aspx Quick Blog tag:knittymom.com,2008-08-17:1288660 James 2008-08-17T23:41:26Z 2008-08-17T23:41:26Z tag:knittymom.com,2008-08-08:1264027 James 2008-08-08T02:53:33Z 2008-08-08T02:53:33Z
I used my ancient TV for nothing more than playing the once weekly DVD and even I replaced my set before you guys did. And I don't think I've ever been by your joint without seeing one or more of your brood transfixed by the set.

Just in time: in another six months, forcing kids to watch tube (non-plasma) TV will be considered child abuse by the state.]]> tag:knittymom.com,2008-08-08:1263993 James 2008-08-08T02:29:16Z 2008-08-08T02:29:16Z
Was that almost a poop joke there in line four? It certainly involved incorrect use of ellipses. How lowbrow of you. I would never have made such a guttersnipe-ish observation at her age. For shame.

2. I refuse to believe that you didn't realize the "Twilight Zone"-ish (isn't there a way to use bloody italics on your blog) implications of your weekly menu whilst penning it. You're more pun-savvy that that. Even after the Sirling era, we all saw that first "Simpsons'" Halloween--"How to Cook Forty Humans," indeed.

Instead, I choose to believe that you were testing your kids' sense of dry wit--as was a family on which I waited last night: they wouldn't allow any of their three kids to order dessert until each prefaced his or her order with the Pythonesque phrase, "Well, it is just a wafer-thin mint."

Perhaps those prenominate children are socially doomed in junior high and in dire need of help, but I'm sure not going to be the one to give it to them.]]> tag:knittymom.com,2008-07-12:1189939 James 2008-07-12T14:38:48Z 2008-07-12T14:38:48Z tag:knittymom.com,2008-07-11:1186674 Mike 2008-07-11T07:09:59Z 2008-07-11T07:09:59Z http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elmer_Fudd]]> tag:knittymom.com,2008-07-11:1186463 James 2008-07-11T03:13:54Z 2008-07-11T03:13:54Z
Like I said, y'all Fabians are jerks.]]> tag:knittymom.com,2008-07-09:1182525 Sharilyn 2008-07-09T15:31:33Z 2008-07-09T15:31:33Z tag:knittymom.com,2008-07-08:1180194 Colleen 2008-07-08T20:28:41Z 2008-07-08T20:28:41Z tag:knittymom.com,2008-06-25:1147163 James 2008-06-25T08:02:10Z 2008-06-25T08:02:10Z
Also:

#1) Much of driving America is still very intently chasing that elusive and ill-defined notion of "cool" the same way they did in the high schools of the late Sixties, the Seventies, the Eighties and the early Nineties. They chase it desperately, the same way junkies chase the proverbial dragon.

Minivans became very everything-you-said when SUVs became tres chic. Because "cool" is by necessity exclusionist and ineffable, it doesn't make much sense most of the time. So though it violates logic to infer anything besides "matron with athletics-inclined progeny" from the words "soccer mom," we must all remember that 'cool' obeys no rules at all.

You're a bad person because you drive a van. This is because SUVs are 'cool.' Vans are not. That's all.

#2) In actuality, it's those suburban, TV-addled automatons (who, not too long ago, were themselves DRIVING minivans for the same reason they now choose SUVs ((having just recently, in that earlier case, abandoned stationwagons))) who have slapped the stigma back on you for being , like, so 1998.

The stigma is now on minivannists so that there can be an 'anticool' against which 'cool' SUVers may define themselves. High-top sneakers couldn't be 'cool' without low-tops becoming sort of lame. See also: metal-rimmed glasses/plastic-rimmed glasses; etc.

And just wait: soon the stationwagon will make the same stupid-people-who-think-they-understand-irony sort of comeback that the mesh hat and the muttonchop did.

#3)When considered, the fact that it's actually the bland, proto-fascist, suburban, two-time-Bush-voting, Angelina-Jolie-fascinated twits who have caused all of that stigma to be improperly associated with minivan drivers is actually kinda ironic (as correctly defined). All of those things which you above associated with 'soccer mom'miness (which former minivanners/ soccer moms worked hard to get associated with present minivanners) are more or less precise descriptors of the van-slandering, SUV-driving morons of today themselves. What's ironic is that they don't get this next bit.

#4) In fact, the reason everyone associates all of those bland, flavorless, cable knit, Republican, racist, WASP-y qualities with the minivan is precisely BECAUSE of the people who USED to drive them. The same people who now drive SUVs in their unending, insipid pursuit of cool; those people who rush out weekly and pay ten bucks a head to see some uninspired cinema-length remake of an uninspired sitcom; those folks who actually ARE all those van-associated things which, when perceived as applied to you, caused you to take such umbrage.]]> tag:knittymom.com,2008-06-13:1118735 Sharilyn 2008-06-13T18:00:23Z 2008-06-13T18:00:23Z
Will my points be alotted based on where on the head I bean them..

+1 glancing blow
+1 hard enough to elicit a comment but not a swear word
+2 right in the pith helmet
+3 hard enough to elicit a swear word but not inflict any real damage
+3 between the eyes
-1 in the ear...no one should be hit in the ear

:-)]]>